It's just a jump to the left.

A new post after a long time

Sun, 21 Jan 2007 08:45:53 GMT

Right now it's almost 3am and I'm laying in the dark in my room listening to Augustana. As I lay here and listen to the song Boston I can't help but think that maybe that's what I need, maybe I need to go away, not to Boston, but far away, to just run away to somewere no one knows my name. The thought sounds wonderful but scary at the same time. Being somewere no one knows you alows for a new start, a fresh start, but it also means that there's no one to turn to, and that thought is scary, sure you can always call the ones you love, the people you leave behind, but there wouldn't be much they can do for you, well, at least nothing that would turn out good. They would most likely try and guilt you into coming back. I know that once I leave this place returning won't be an option, sure I'll come back for short visits on holidays, but returning "home" to stay will never be an option, never.

Now I'm almost at the end of the cd, on the song Sunday Best. This song makes me feel happy and sad at the same time, expessaly the line "and california is on her mind" because that describes me, it seems that california is always on my mind, though I have never been there, I some how get the feeling that California could be a real home to me. If I never make it to California though, I have a feeling that Jersey will become my home. Jersey is a place that I've been to before, and it's a place I get a good vibe from, a vibe that makes me feel at home, one that I only ever experianced before in the city, in Providence and Boston, though not as strong, a feeling that I long for when at "home" in NS.

This whole CD tells a story, it tells the story of a man that is in love with a woman. The man loves this woman so much and he never wants to lose her, but she just wants to get away, and she does, she goes away to Boston, leaving him in California. He eventully fallows her, because he misses her so much. He know she's messed up, that she has problems, but he doesn't care, he loves her and will go to the ends of the world for her. After doing so much for her though, he finally relizes that he can't change her, that she will continue to pop pills, and not eat, even after he thought she was better. At the end of the CD he gives up and he leaves her, flying away going home to California and leaving her in boston. The story behind the CD is why I love it so much.

Now the CD is starting over again, and I can't help be be amazed at how much a CD can make me think about the life I'm leading, about how my life is just like a CD on repeat. Every day seems like it's the same, everyday is boring, and lifeless and a compleat waste. School is unimportant now, I'm not learning anything any more, not that I ever really learned much in the first place. I can't get myself motivated enough to do the work I need to do during school, I just feel drained everyday from getting up to early in the morning, and then when I get home I want nothing more then to sit down with my guitar and play, but my mind feels like it's melted, so I can't motivate myself to do much more then sit lifelessly in front of the computer until my eyes start to burn from exauston. I don't sleep either,well I do, but not enough to do any real good. I'm always tired it seem, always wishing for sleep instead of getting up, always trying to stay under my warm covers for just one more second. Because of my lack of sleep I'm getting sick more often, it almost seems like I'm always sick, and I hate it... school is killing me.

At this point it seems like the only thing that I ever want to get out of bed for is Food Not Bombs. I can't explain it, but for some reason when I was in Newport last week I felt alive, I felt real. My daily mantra in life is no longer "try to have fun" now it has become "try to stay alive" It seems like my whole life has become a whole mess of count downs, at any given time I am looking to the future, waiting for something "good" that is going to be happening and I hate it. I shouldn't be waiting for tomorrow, I should be living for today, but it's hard when today is never worth living for.

Right now it's almost 4am and I'm still laying here in the dark, and I can't help but think, how much longer is my life going to play on repeat, because I don't think I want to wait for tomorrow any more, I want to live for today.

"I'm stairing in the mirror looking back at the person I hate"

Sat, 06 May 2006 00:56:18 GMT

Okay so I'm not having a good... day... week... month... life... anything? Anyway, I'm sick and tired of school, I don't know if I'll make it 2 more years... I hate it here, I hate this whole state, I hate everything about it exept my friends. I just want to leave and get away from it, that's how much I hate it now. Everyday I wake up to go to school I don't want to get out of bed, and I try to think of a way to stay home, then I go and stair at the clocks counting every second until I can go home, then when I can go home I sit on the couch and watch tv until 8 then I shower and practice guitar for a few hours and then I go to bed or do homework and go to bed. Then I just get up and do the same thing all over again, it's so boring, I hate it, and I just want to go drift around the country, get away from this place. So many of you know who I like, we're going to call him X now so that I can talk about him in here without random people finding out. Well I was going to tell X that I like him, even though he is one of my best friends and it would risk ruining our friendship, but last night I was talking to X and he told me that he likes a girl, I don't know who, I stopped listening to him when he said that and just started thinking about how much it sucked that he liked someone. So now I have given up on that, and most likly all relationships, I'm tired of getting hurt, even though it's always my fault, and I figure that this is the only way to stop that hurt from happening. I've basicly resigned myself to being single for a long time, but whatever. So now I want to start a band, and then just get out of here and go on tour with that band, because I think it would be a lot of fun, it would be a good growing expirence, and it would get me out of this fucking house, I swear I'm going to go insane! Anyway that's all I feel like reading, I've been in a really depressed mood latly, and it sucks, meh, I need to find something to deacate my life to, and soon because I think I'm losing tuch with reality. Well whatever, Oh yea, there's a chance I will fail math this year, and I know I'm going to fail spanish, I hate school and I want to drop out, but I know that I can, though I wish I could. Well bye. When I hear the song "Waltz Moore" by From First to Last I want to cry...

Mon, 13 Mar 2006 16:59:32 GMT

Okay everyone, it is another day were I have some free time in computer class so I'm updating my LJ because I can and I have nothing eles to do for the next like, half hour or so. Bet you are all so excited to hear about me some more! Any way, today I was called down to guidence during gym class (yes no running) and he's like talking to me about how I'm failing, not like i didn't already notice this, *laughs* I have a 48 in math class now, it's really funny and it makes me giggle, but anyway, he asks me why I'm failing again because I wasn't doing that bad during the 2nd quarter, and that my grades are like a rollercoaster and shit like that, and I tell him that I missed a gov paper, which is why I have like a lower grade in that, and that I didn't pay attention in Math class all year so I had no clue about what was going on (but I passed a quiz GO ME!) and that's why I'm failing math class, and I told him that I never do my Spanish Homework and that's why I'm failing spanish. Then he asked me if everything else was fine, and I was like "Yea" and he gave me a look that was like "Are you sure?" And I was like "It's to early in the morning" and it still is by the way, but I have my music so, I don't care. Anyway, he tells me I can go back to gym, and so I'm about to leave and he stops me and he's like "If you ever need to vent about anything, in school, at home, or anything, just remember that this is confidential and that you can always just come down here." so I'm like "yea," and I walk out. I guess the guy thinks I'm depressed or something, I bet my chem teacher said something to him about how I never talk to anyone in her class, or he thinks that the reason I don't do well in school is because I live in a bad home enviornment, ha if that's what he thinks I bet it's because both Jake and I are the same way in school, lol.

Okay, new topic, I have a goal for my senior year! It is to be in a band and to record a CD, that way I can feel cool and what not when handing them out in school to try and get people to listen to it. And I think that if that was to happen there would be the possiblilty of playing gigs, which I swear would be the coolest thing in the fucking world, I would feel so awesome if I was able to be playing gigs with a band by my senior year, I don't even care if I'm getting payed to do it or not, while it would be nice, all I want is to get noticed for playing well with a band, and to get up on stage and show off to people who come to see it. I think it would be one of the best feelings in the world to be able to do that. I also bet that I'm not the only person who thinks that would be awesome, so I bet that I would be able to get other people to be in a band with me, and what not, I already know a few people who would like to be in a band. So my dear friends, if you wish to help me reach this goal, tell me what instrement you play, and what not, and I'll see who I get replying and see what happens.

Okay next topic of discution, I miss my black hair so I think that I might dye it back to black again, just because I think that it suits me, and I really do miss my black hair, I want to know what everyone thinks of that idea. I was going to do my hair like a red color, but I don't know, I always have really bad luck with red hair dye, it always turns out looking odd, and I figure that it's really hard to fuck up black hair *laughs* anyway I was looking at my picture from last year, and I like the way it looked, at least I like it more then this funny looking orangeish blondish yellowish green tinted brownish redish thing that is on my head. Yes that's what it is, it is it's own color man, which I can't decide if that's a good or a bad thing, lol.

Oh, dude I have a whole song writen out and I'm almost done writing out the guitar part for it, it's acustic, but that's okay, it's a good song about the death of a good friendship. I hope to get it down really well, and what not by time this god forsaken school has it's stupid talent show, and maybe I'll try out to be in it with the song, we'll see, I don't know, I don't think I'm that good at signing, so we'll see what happens.

Okay so I have been thinking and I think I might go back to being a vegan. I really don't care about the animals or anything, but I always felt so much better physicaly when I was a vegan, I don't think that animal products agree with my that much at all, when ever I eat them I always feel like total crapp for a while after that, when I don't eat meat I just feel, so much better, and what not, so I'll see what happens after St. Patty's day because I'm not missing out on corned beef and cabage. That's just the way I am, maybe I can live on potates, *giggles*

Okay so now what to write about, hmmm let me think about this, I need a topic to rant about, how about this, how I hate people who stereo-type. Okay, so in mathclass Ian, the retard that he is, is always calling me emo (which I'm not), he calls me a cutter (I'm not, haven't been for a long while), he calls me a drugy (Once again, not in a while), and he calls me a whore, yes I'm a whore, I've had sex so many times, god. *giggles* I think I'm the furthest thing from a whore you could get without being a prude, I mean come one, look at me. Any way, it's annoying and I hate him, I'm writing a song about how much I'm hating him as a matter of fact, and if I ever win an award for it, I'm going to thank him for being an asshole to me and being my isperation, that would be the best thing ever. And then, at the high school reunion, I can rub it in his face. Any way, I know a lot of people streo-type me, and I hate it, I know that when people look at me they must think I'm the typical depressed teen, and that I'm a bad student (so what if I am it's not because I'm dumb, and I think that that's all that matters) and I know they think that I'm drug addicted and that I'm stupid and what not, oh and that I'm likly to kill someone or something, I think I've had a few people ask me if I've ever been in jail, (I haven't I got close to being arrested a few times though haha) Anyway I don't like it at all. I know that sometimes I group people together, not everyone who dresses in prepy clothing are assholes, but most of them are, they think that they are better then other people, but there are the few that are really nice people, but I would almost never hang out with them, because they are so much different then I am, and I'm okay with that. I think the people that really bother me are the people who try to be like others just to fit in, I think that that is just stupid and there is no way I respect those people, I can respect the people who are themselves, even though they have some of the same qualitys as other people, but if you're just being someone you're not because you want to fit in with a group of people, you need to take a long look at yourself and figure out why you can't just be yourself. This applys not only to the people who dress "normal" to fit in, I mean the people who try and dress weird to fit in with the outcasts, I think that people don't have to change the way they dress or act to make friends, you'll be able to make better friends if you just stay true to yourself, I learned that. I don't even get why people would want to be popular, being popular is like having a lot of fake friends, I always hear them, they talk about eachother behind their backs, it's kinda funny, they act like best friends, but they all hate eachother.

Okay, so one last thing, for those of you who have made it to the end of this thing, the other day in HR I noticed something funny. During the pledge I was sitting down, I have my reasons, and they are good, maybe I'll tell them next time, any way, Joey is like motioning at me to Jason, and he's like "look she's sitting down" and shit like that, it made me smile to myself, mainly because he's retarted, anyway I'm out of time bye! ~Amber

Thu, 09 Mar 2006 16:59:17 GMT

Okay, so I'm sitting here in computer class being bored, so I'm updating, I think I might start doing this more now, because I have nothing else to do. I HATE Spanish class, it is so retarted, I think that it should just go and die, and I really don't like the teacher either, Slaughter is a total bitch. She e-mails my father every time I don't do my homework, (so that's like after every single class). I've decided that every time I update, I'm going to post my veiws on thing, just because I can. This time: Toughts on myself.

I have decided that I must have some form of social anxiaty disorder, everytime I have to deal with strangers, I start to freak out. Luckily I don't have panic attacks, but my heart starts beating faster, I start to get worried about the dumbest things, and I start freaking out. This happens whenever we have to work in groups in Chem. Class because I don't have any friends to work with in that class, it sucks. I hate going to Chem, no because it's a hard class but because we do a lot of work were we can work in groups, I always feel like such a loser because I'm always working alone, even though I get done much faster because of that fact. I also hate when we have to work in groups, for labs, because I don't really talk to anyone, so I have to work with people I don't know that well, it bothers me. Then when she puts us in assined groups it sucks even more. Also, when I have to call to order somthing, like food, I get nervous, I don't know why, and I know it's dumb, but it happens. I start to freak out about nothing, and it's really weird. I also hate asking people were things are in stores, and I think it's for the main reason that I don't know them, I would much rather be alone most of the time, people suck. I think this would explain why I'm so afraid of asking the guy I like out, because I don't know him that well, and I turn little things into huge things in my minds, and then I freak out. I noticed that when plan on saying something to him, I start picking it appart, and then I get sick to my stoumach worrying about it. I know that there's nothing that I should be afraid of, he's just a guy, and if I'm rejected then I can just get over it, but I can't just stop worrying about it and it sucks. I think that one day soon I'm going to just have to face it and hope for the best, I just wish there was a way to throw myself into it and not think about what I was doing until that second that I'm physicaly there doing it, that way I don't have time to turn little worrys into a reason not to say anything to him. I think that my goal is to ask him out by the end of this week at least, and the end of next week at most, if I don't I'm going to think of a way to uninforce myself from chicking out, that way I don't do it again. We'll se how well this goes, or how badly it fails, i don't know yet.

Well I think that's about it on that topic. I'm bored, but I don't think I have much more time. I like computer because I can listen to my MP3 player while I sit infront of the computer so it's healing my music deprevation. I think that if I went for more then3 hours without music I would go crazy. I play guitar like 3 hours everyday after school, it's crazy, and I'm getting better, right now I'm writing a song, and I think that it's coming out well, even though the paper that it's being written on is kind of a mess because I keep changing my mind about what I'm going to write. I like being able to type well, and fast, if I was a slow typer I would never be able to get threw a whole LJ entry. So anyway, I have lunch soon, so if you have any topic ideas for me, just tell me. Laters <3 Amber!

Wed, 22 Feb 2006 02:38:03 GMT

Oh my god, I'M GOING TO SEE AVENGED SEVENFOLD!!!! I'm so happy!!! *Dances* that is all.

Over it all

Sun, 08 Jan 2006 22:32:40 GMT

Okay, well this is somthing I figure I have to do. I wasn't going to say anything, but, now I'm going to. So, Olivia, yea I read your Blog on Myspace, it's nice to know that you wanted to kick me in the thoat to use the phone the day before you left to go home. I was talking to someone I hadden't talken to all week and you could have just asked to use the phone, I would have let you, but no, you say nothing and just write that in your blog. I also read your livejournal, is it a crime that I didn't want to deal with your apparent bitchyness, you came back here, and you were instently being a bitch because I was sitting infront of my computer talking to my friends, you over reacted to the fact I unlinked your screen name. I don't even know if your reading this, but if you are I figure I'll just say everything that I need to in this one thing. You were a wonderful friend to me, and I was so happy to have you back here, but it seems that since you left Rhode Island, you have changed. You were fine for the first two days, then you started raging on me. I gauged my ear, and when I didn't want to take it out, you had to say something about how I was stupid, and how you're not supposed to gague cartilige, well you can, and I didn't need your comments about how I should just take it out. Another thing is that you were freeking out at Kate because she was trying do something before going to pick up Lucas, I mean, she's giveing you a ride, at least you could be a little nicer to her, she didn't have to. It didn't bother me that one day you went to bet at 7pm, I went on the computer and I was fine with it, but I went to bed and got a few hours of sleep before I was woken up by you, and that wasn't cool, I was so tired, and you woke me up. You could have just let me sleep and gone down stairs, because I ended up just sitting next to the computer filling in Suduku puzzles for a few hours, then I showered. When I finaly kicked you off the computer so I could go on for a bit you got angry, and what not. When you left I was glad that I was getting time to myself to do what I wanted to do because I needed a brake from being around someone all the time. Then when you came back I thought we would just hang out for a bit and what not. When you did come back I wanted to go to Kyla's because I didn't even know when you were coming home, so it didn't seem like a big deal that I wanted to get out of the house, but apparently that gave you the right to be a major bitch to everyone in the house and what not. Then it bothered me that when I was trying to watch the movie I had just put in you came up and talked on the phone. Another thing is that you were being really annoying about the fact that I had gotten an MP3 player for Christmas, every time I took it out you were like "You don't have to wave it in the poor person's face" and that's not what I was doing, I'm sorry if I got somthing you didn't have, but I wasn't going to not use it when you were here. Also I don't think the livejournal entry you made about how people complaining about thier seats in band was annoying and that they should stop it, was nice at all. Personaly I got a bad seat and I'm in a bad mood about that because for me music is really the only chance I have at getting money to go to collage because I already fucked up with grades and there is no way for my family to be able to afford it. I may be smart but there is no chance for me in high school, and music is truly my only chance, and just because it's band, doesn't mean it's not improtent to people, it's what keeps me going in music with the hope that I might get a scolarship for collage, and getting a bad seat is kind of like someone telling me I have no skill and that it's not worth the work to try and get a scolarship because I'll never be good enough. Basicly what I'm trying to say is that when I step back and look at you, I realise that our friendship might not be the best thing in the world for me any more, it seems that a lot of the time you are making fun of me, and that's just not what I need right now because I'm not at a good place in life. I know that you're not the only person who's going to read this and that I have a chance at loseing friends because of this, but I guess that if they don't want to talk to me anymore because of what I wrote, I guess they were never really my friends and it's better that I know that now. Well I figured that this needed to be said, and so, I hope you read this.

Fri, 23 Dec 2005 16:22:54 GMT

Okay, it have been FOREVER since I updated, and so I'm updating now! XD I still like the same guy I have liked since a few weeks into school, but there is this really hot senior who is in my Government class, and he seems cool and what not, he doesn't say much though, but if I was the only senior in a class of mostly freshmen, I don't think I would say much either. I had to wear the evil band dress to school today, and it really sucked, you can see my whole chest when I wear it, it was bad. I forgot my shirt at home so I had to borrow one from Baily, and then I stripped in the hallway next to the guy I like, it was funny, and amusing, and it didn't bother me. I have no problem taking off my shirt it public, but I can't take off my pants, but I had jeans under my pants so I was good. I don't know why I like the guy I do, and I don't think I will ever be able to talk to him because I'm a shy loser. I hate being shy, it's lame and should die! XD I'm bored because I'm in computer and we have a free day to do anything we wish to, so I'm updating. Someone should help me out with the whole guy thing, but I don't know what to do, should I just ask him out or somthing? I don't know it's confusing, plus I have a paralizing fear of rejection, so that doesn't help. Oh well that's all I've got, I'm gunna find somthing new to do now, I don't know what but somthing. I'M SO HAPPY! OLIVIA IS COMING HOME TOMORROW, YAY! Maybe talking to her about the guy I like will help me figure out what I should do, we'll see.

Rant time

Thu, 06 Oct 2005 20:51:44 GMT

Okay, so as many of you may or may not know I am a little... crazy. Any way almost a week ago I almost had a compleat mental brake down, and I know I told a bunch of people this, but I didn't really tell you what happened. Well, I was laying in bed in the dark at night and I was thinking about stupid stuff at first, but then I some how got to the point of thinking about how I was single, and how shy I was, and how I couldn't talk to people without turning red and stuff like that. Then I thought about how much of a failer I was, and how I sucked at life and I started crying, something I haven't done in forever. Well, then I thought about how weak I was because I was crying, and I then thought about how I deserved to die because I wasn't importent and I know if I still had my razor in my room I would have done something stupid, and I know that most of you know what I'm talking about, and if you don't, well then you're dumb as fuck. Well any way, I cried for about 15-20 minutes before falling asleep, the next day I felt better, and I didn't reall tell anyone what I thought about because I thought it was a one time thing.

Well, as you see I'm writing this entry, so I was wrong, yea I bet some of you love that. Anyway, today I came to school after yesterday, a wonderful day, and I descoved that I forgot my govn't paper that I had worked on for 2 fucking hours, and Mrs. O'Brian had said that if we didn't have it that she was going to give us a 0 as a test grade, and we wouldn't be able to take part in the debate. Well I had Math which was boring, then Band which was the worst thing in the world, then I had English, the hell that is English. We had a gramer test and I had studyed for a few hours, and I still failed with a fucking 60, I know I'm failing the class becuase I've failed almost every test we've had, I suck at gramer, and I hate it. Moving on, last block I have government, and I'm almost having a mental brake down becuase I don't have my paper, and I know that I can't get a 0 because I'm not doing that great because I suck at putting my ideas down onto paper, but back on topic, I feel like I'm going to cry again, and I know that if I do I won't be able to stop, and then I'll have a compleat brake down infront of the whole class, and it will be really bad, and yea I was already stressed out from failing the English test. I talk to the teacher, and she agrees to not give me a 0 if I show it to her before I leave school, thank god, but still, I'm in a bad mood because I'm failing government with a 63 because I rant and rave about things on papers so she takes of points. (I got a 33 on a quiz because my chart looked "rushed")

So I get my paper to her, and I go home, and I'm talking to my mom and I tell her I failed my test in English, and I try to explain to her that I'm having a really hard time with it, but she tells me that I have to study and she won't believe me that I did study, and that I'm trying as hard as I can to pass this evil gramar thing, but I just can't and it sucks. Also she was yelling at me about failing Government, and Spanish, and she won't listen to the fact that it's the middle of fist quarder, and that I can get my grades up, and the way the teacher is teaching the English and Spanish is makeing it harder for me to learn it. I can't fallow it at all, and I need someone, who's not my dad or a teacher to just sit down with me and help me with it, but no, that's not good enough, I'm not living up to her fucking expectations of me, she doesn't want another Jake, blah blah blah blah blah! I really hate my mother I wish she would just fucking die!

Another thing that is bothering me is the fact that I'm so shy, I don't know why I am, but I am,and it makes me really depressed, I can't say 2 words to the guy I like, and theres nothing that people can really do to help me, because, what are they going to do. I can talk to people who I don't like, but I can't talk to people who I do like, it's always the same, and it's annoying, I just want to get to know him better. But I can't talk to him with out feeling retarted, and I don't really know anyone who knows him really well, so no one can help me.

Well that's about it for now, on a semi happy note, I talked to Tyler yesterday, and worked in his group in Scince, but that's about the only minorly good thing that happened.

Sat, 01 Oct 2005 14:17:09 GMT

I'm at Kyla's house. I have nothing to write about, but I am bored so here I am! DIE BUNNYS! lol anyway. I decided that my brain sucks lots, lol as does being shy, but that's another story for another time that is not now. So you're not going to get it, hahaha bastards. Anyway..... umm nothing to report here, still single, still boring and still alive, but that's a given because if I wasn't I wouldn't be updating. I had a dream about running... with some one.... don't ask once again. I had another dream but I will not tell a soul. lol yet that is well that's about it, bye.

Sat, 17 Sep 2005 03:22:40 GMT

For a friend:

We talked today
And now I'm wondering
Why do you put up with her
She's no good for you
You know it
I've told you already
I told you today
You deserve better
Then when I thought you would realize
You didn't
You did anything but
You told me
That you couldn't get anyone better then her
And that killed me
At that moment I wanted to cry for you
I wanted to hurt her
As much as she is hurting you
You don't know how much I care for you
And now, more then ever, I want to tell you
But when I was going to I decided
That you needed me to talk to
You need to tell me your problems
That way they're not resting on only your shoulders
So I kept my mouth shut
But I don't know how much longer I can keep it shut as I am now
I really do care for you
And I want to be the one to heal your heart
The on to show you that not every girl will cheat on you
Tomorrow I am going to talk to you
And if you still feel the same
I will say the words
The one I dread saying
The ones that need to be said
And if you reject me
Then it will just end up as another wound on my heart
But if you're reading this
Then you'll know
That I care for you
More then a friend should.

Thu, 15 Sep 2005 15:55:48 GMT

Okay, so I went to the MCR concert the other night, it was awesome, and I got killed lol. Anyway, I went moshing, and I now remember why a mosh pit is not the best person for someone of my hight. I got punched in between the shoulder blades, so I turned around and hit the person back, lol I was also getting kicked, and pushed and hit in the head and what not, but I don't care it was still a lot lot lot of fun! I'm so glad that I got to go. I want to go see the Dresten Dolls at Lupo's Heartbreak hotel, I have to find someone to come with me who won't get me sick (Nikki! I still <3 you though) lol long story, some one owes me money, (Baily you owe me $1 Nikki you owe me $6 Olivia, you owe me more money then I know) Well that's about all I have to say MANA IS AWESOME, EVERYONE SHOULD LISTEN TO GOOD MUSIC I DID 80 SIT UPS, BOW DOWN!!! EVERYONE SAY FUCK YEAH, LET ME SEE THOSE MIDDLE FINGERS lol from the MCR concert. Well I'm bored now, bye.

Thu, 01 Sep 2005 15:55:54 GMT

Sitting here during free time in Computer so I'm updating, because there is nothing better to do! lol. Any way, I'm kinda bored, and good news for those I may have told, I got my classes swiched to honors. As a matter of fact, that's why I'm in Computer class right now, because my classes had to be shifted around. Nikki's in this class as well, but she's a few seats down from me, because I was late, as always! XD But that's why you people love me!

Mon, 29 Aug 2005 03:14:27 GMT

I'm a bad Amber I haven't updated in forever! But I am now because I'm bored out of my mind, and I figured eh what the fuck why not. Anyway I am going back to NS this year, fun, and I have a new hair color! WOHOO!! Anyway moving on, I have convinced my mother that next summer our family trip should be to Ireland, so I'm going to get to fufill my dream of going to Ireland, and go shopping in another conutry as well. I hate shopping, but I don't know, it will be cooler to shop in Ireland because there's a good chance that other people won't have the same stuff that I will buy. But I have to start saving up... I'm not good at that.

Fri, 12 Aug 2005 05:43:54 GMT

I want a kitten, a little black kitten, but the thing is my mom is kinda reluctent to get me one, so I was wondering if someone would help me get one, I'll pay for the kitten, and I'll tip you, but I really want a kitty. Please help me!

Tue, 02 Aug 2005 04:20:07 GMT

1. Reply with your name and I will write something random about you.
2. I will then tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I will pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.
4. I will say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I will tell you my first memory of you.
6. I will tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll then ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. Put this in your journal, or else!

Tue, 12 Jul 2005 01:32:27 GMT

And that is one reason I should never ever ever be aloud to surf the web... EVER!

Sun, 10 Jul 2005 23:02:51 GMT

You Are a Dare Devil

For you, life is one big dare.

And you're all in for any adventure.

Others find you exciting, inspiring, and a bit intimidating.

You're biggest challenge at this point is trying to top yourself!

How Daring Are You?

Sun, 10 Jul 2005 22:56:23 GMT

You Are Creepy

Serial killers would run away from you in a flash.

How scary are you?

Sun, 10 Jul 2005 22:36:08 GMT

You Know You're Irish When....

The condensation on your pint of Guinness takes the shape of shamrocks

You don't believe there is a God, but you are damn sure of the infallibility of the Pope.

You believe that to forgive is divine, but you don't excercise it yourself.

You won't eat meat on Friday, but you'll drink a pint for breakfast.

You consider any Irishman who has become successful a traitor.

You have great respect for the truth, and you only use it in emergencies.

The further you get from Ireland, the more Irish you get.

You eat homefried taters for brakfast, potato bread for lunch, and potato stew for dinner.

You cry at sad movies, but you cheer in battle.

You will never play professional basketball.

You swear very well.

You think you sing very well.

There isn't a huge difference between losing your temper and killing someone.

You're strangely poetic after a few beers.

Many of your sisters are Catherine, Elizabeth or Mary and one is Mary Catherine Elizabeth.

You can't wait for the other guy to stop talking so you can start talking.

Much of your food is boiled.

You are, or know someone, named "Murph." If you don't know Murph, then you know Mac. If you don't know Murph or Mac, then you know Sully, and you'll probably also know Sully McMurphy.

Your parents were on a first name basis with everyone at the local emergency room.

There wasn't a huge difference between your last wake and your last keg party.

You're proud to be Irish - and you pass these jokes on to all your Irish friends!

Get Your Own "You Know You're" Meme Here

More cool things for your blog at
Blogthings

Sun, 10 Jul 2005 22:17:53 GMT

Your Birthdate: July 1

Your birthday suggests that are executive ability and leadership qualities in your makeup.

A birthday on day 1 of any month gives a measure of will power and self-confidence, and very often a rather original approach.

This 1 energy may diminish your ability and desire to handle details, preferring instead to paint with a broad brush.

You may be sensitive, but your feelings stay rather repressed.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Sun, 10 Jul 2005 22:17:06 GMT

Your Japanese Name Is...

Nanako Suzuki

What's your Japanese Name?

Sun, 10 Jul 2005 22:15:17 GMT

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart.

In love, you feel the most alive when everything is uncertain, one moment heaven... the next moment hell.

You'd like to your lover to think you are flexible and ready for anything!

You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is low. Even if you're tempted, you'd try hard not to do it.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

sorry I'm posting so mant of these, but I'm really bored out of my mind

Sun, 10 Jul 2005 21:49:39 GMT

You are elegant, withdrawn, and brilliant.
Your mind is a weapon, able to solve any puzzle.
You are also great at poking holes in arguments and common beliefs.

For you, comfort and calm are very important.
You tend to thrive on your own and shrug off most affection.
You prefer to protect your emotions and stay strong.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

Sun, 10 Jul 2005 21:41:02 GMT

You Are an Irish Coffee

At your best, you are: wild, spontaneous, and outgoing

At your worst, you are: too extreme and reckless

You drink coffee when: you want to keep drinking booze

Your caffeine addiction level: low

What Kind of Coffee Are You?

The only thing wrong about this is that I am really adictted to caffine... really reallty.

me in my boredom, I think it's about right...

Mon, 27 Jun 2005 20:40:17 GMT

the sad teen. Everything in life is f*ckin'
miserable. You constantly look over your
shoulder and wonder who is judging you...even
when you are alone. So naturally, you have
become a little paranoid and pessamistic. Your
personality can be one demensional but
confusing. You are constantly bored with life
and wish that something could spice it up. You
have a unique view on life and have identified
the problems with school society (Ex...what
makes popular people, how the student mind
works...) You would rather be alone because you
hate being hurt. You tend to think that no one
understands you, not even your parents /
guardians / friends. But that is just the
opposite! The people who love you want to
help, but they don't know how because they have
a feeling that they will say something wrong
and turn you away. You have to let them know
that you are willing to hear what they have to
say...and it might do some good to listen to
them.

Some fields you might consider going
in when you are older...Judge, author,
songwriter, producer, therapist, psychologist,
philosopher, or forensic scientist. You need a
job where you can express yourself and your
views on life. Or you need a field where you
can judge others and predict what is going on
in others life. Either way... you have the
personality to get you a good job that will
support you throughout life.

What type of teenager are you?
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